Monthly Archives: March 2005

The “Sally Feilds Ass” phenomenon.

14980197_F_tn.jpg Many moons ago, I noticed that people were arriving at one of my sites via the Google search for “Sally Feilds Ass.” The Sally phenomenon picked up steam because when searchers arrived and Sally was not evident on the front page, they used the search function, sure that the information they were seeking must be hiding somewhere – I mean, who does not love Sally, and who would not want to talk about her ass, given the opportunity? Other people saw that previous visitors had looked for SFA [I can only use the word “ass” so gratuitously so many times before spontaneously combusting], and they figured there must be something good there, so they too searched for Sally.

This is where we find ourselves today at Knit One, Purl Too with the poncho. As of this minute, 143 searches have been performed for the word “poncho” within this blog. And yet? I have never made a poncho. There are no poncho patterns here. As closed-off and narrow-minded as it may make me seem, I feel safe in saying that I will never make a poncho. This is not like where I first thought shawls were silly and now I have plans to make two of them (and I am eyeing patterns for several more). I mean it.

So as I said to the “Sally Feilds Ass” people, I now say to the poncho searchers: Your need will forever be unrequited here, so knock it off.

I am now looking at my site several times a day just so I can see the diminishing number of days in the YNBA. Today, just seven remain. (That’s an average of 20.42 poncho searches for every day remaining in the Yarn Non-Buying Agreement.) While I have purchased an extremely small quantity of yarn, it was only to make up for an unbelievably boneheaded mistake that would have kept me from finishing my first sweater.

While it’s unlikely I’ll finish the sweater in the next seven days, I have gotten superior advice from the StrictlyKnitting Yahoo group that will allow me to a.) use short rows for the shoulder shaping and b.) knit the sleeves from the top down using short rows. For those of you keeping score at home, the only thing I have done according to the pattern thus far with this sweater was a.) use the recommended yarn and b.) cast on the required number of stitches for the front and back. Everything else? Ch-ch-ch changing it.

I will however finish the Cherry Tree Hill socks – I liked Michelle’s pattern a lot, and I feel certain that with a less fussy, fragile yarn, I will have more success with short row heels and toes. (I have no idea either why my knitting is suddenly all about the short rows).

So what will my first purchase be after the end of the YNBA? Will it be cashmere? Luxurious merino? Even some of the Peruvian Highland wool all the cool kids are using to make Ribby Cardis and Must Have Cardigans (and which I feel fairly certain Elann has restocked just for me)? If you said “one ball of Magic Stripes yarn to re-make the in-progress sock your dog munched“, you get a gold star. I took the lone sock out of the drawer where it has been languishing unmated for nine months last week to show a houseguest and I was re-smitten with it all over again. Why had I not finished the pair, when making a pair of jacquard self-patterning socks was one of the reasons I started knitting again? Ponchos may be over, but self-patterning yarn is not over for me.

I am only Speedy Gonzales when I order the lunch special.

What the hell is going on? Is there knitting happening? “You know we can’t see anything if you only wave it in front of the computer screen – Donna, are you there?” Herewith, a list of things that have happened since my last entry:

1. The Lush pullover is up to the armhole shaping. Actually, I went significantly farther because I found stockinette in the round so mesmerizing and I misread the pattern (I know, will I get anything right on the first try with this sweater?). Here is a closeup of the phoney seam seen on the right in the photo above. Here is a discussion of knitting sweaters in the round versus flat, and three posts from the bottom you’ll find phoney seam instructions (it’s so easy, even I can do it).

2. I ordered my one skein of Lush needed to complete the sweater. It is not the same dyelot, and I ordered with much trepidation only after reaching the point where I would have simply been calling random yarn stores – every store that stocks Lush and has a website had heard from me. I received the skein Saturday and even though it is not the same dyelot, you would never know – it looks as though it belongs with all the rest. Can you tell which skein is the new one in the above photo? (It’s the one on the left.) Once again, I have the best internet knitting karma ever.

3. I have also swapped with the lovely Carrie for more than enough Muench Bergamo to complete Salt Peanuts (thank you so much!) in the same dyelot (you are my hero!). Coincidentally, she was wearing the Bergamo sweater she made when I first e-mailed her to say “do you have any left over?”

4. After fits and starts, I am almost done with the leg of sock #2 in the Cherry Tree Hill pair. I’m liking the second sock more, in part because I’ll soon be done with them. I’ve made my peace with the stripes, and I am officially a fan of the Magic Loop method; I like double-pointed needles just fine, but there’s something so graceful about setting up for a new round of knitting with the Magic Loop that wins me over every time.

5. I had a big credit at the local bookstore, and I almost used it to buy Latvian Mittens by Elizabeth Upitis (they basically wouldn’t let me; their supplier doesn’t stock it). But I had a nice conversation with the owner about Latvian folk tales and traditions. Sadly, five minutes is about the extent of my conversational knowledge of Latvian traditions because I (say it with me) don’t have the book yet. I bought and read Enslaved by Ducks instead (very good, no knitting/Latvian content whatsoever).

6. I promised Lisa I would knit a hat for homeless vets in Austin, because she is threatening to send sock yarn to all the entrants of her recent “caption this dog photo contest.” If I’m getting sock yarn as a prize (again) during this YNBA, it’s only fair I make something nice for someone who needs it.

7. Mary spun some amazing yarn – it’s like spring in a skein, so beautiful. [I had nothing to do with this, and the above link is not a veiled attempt to get Mary to spin me any yarn – it just made me go “Ooooh” with its loveliness.]

8. sandy’s mittens reminded me to go check out the Blackberry Ridge site – I hadn’t been there in a while and there are some great additions (Blackberry mittens and Joe’s Afghan).

9. I went to lunch at my favorite tacky Mexican restaurant Friday, where the specials have great names (instead of “# 2”). When the waiter returned to our table with the food, I got to say “I’m Speedy Gonzales” to end up with the right plate. For some reason, I’m tickled to death by that. Slow knitter, but they’ll think I’m a fast eater – hee.