The “Sally Feilds Ass” phenomenon.

14980197_F_tn.jpg Many moons ago, I noticed that people were arriving at one of my sites via the Google search for “Sally Feilds Ass.” The Sally phenomenon picked up steam because when searchers arrived and Sally was not evident on the front page, they used the search function, sure that the information they were seeking must be hiding somewhere – I mean, who does not love Sally, and who would not want to talk about her ass, given the opportunity? Other people saw that previous visitors had looked for SFA [I can only use the word “ass” so gratuitously so many times before spontaneously combusting], and they figured there must be something good there, so they too searched for Sally.

This is where we find ourselves today at Knit One, Purl Too with the poncho. As of this minute, 143 searches have been performed for the word “poncho” within this blog. And yet? I have never made a poncho. There are no poncho patterns here. As closed-off and narrow-minded as it may make me seem, I feel safe in saying that I will never make a poncho. This is not like where I first thought shawls were silly and now I have plans to make two of them (and I am eyeing patterns for several more). I mean it.

So as I said to the “Sally Feilds Ass” people, I now say to the poncho searchers: Your need will forever be unrequited here, so knock it off.

I am now looking at my site several times a day just so I can see the diminishing number of days in the YNBA. Today, just seven remain. (That’s an average of 20.42 poncho searches for every day remaining in the Yarn Non-Buying Agreement.) While I have purchased an extremely small quantity of yarn, it was only to make up for an unbelievably boneheaded mistake that would have kept me from finishing my first sweater.

While it’s unlikely I’ll finish the sweater in the next seven days, I have gotten superior advice from the StrictlyKnitting Yahoo group that will allow me to a.) use short rows for the shoulder shaping and b.) knit the sleeves from the top down using short rows. For those of you keeping score at home, the only thing I have done according to the pattern thus far with this sweater was a.) use the recommended yarn and b.) cast on the required number of stitches for the front and back. Everything else? Ch-ch-ch changing it.

I will however finish the Cherry Tree Hill socks – I liked Michelle’s pattern a lot, and I feel certain that with a less fussy, fragile yarn, I will have more success with short row heels and toes. (I have no idea either why my knitting is suddenly all about the short rows).

So what will my first purchase be after the end of the YNBA? Will it be cashmere? Luxurious merino? Even some of the Peruvian Highland wool all the cool kids are using to make Ribby Cardis and Must Have Cardigans (and which I feel fairly certain Elann has restocked just for me)? If you said “one ball of Magic Stripes yarn to re-make the in-progress sock your dog munched“, you get a gold star. I took the lone sock out of the drawer where it has been languishing unmated for nine months last week to show a houseguest and I was re-smitten with it all over again. Why had I not finished the pair, when making a pair of jacquard self-patterning socks was one of the reasons I started knitting again? Ponchos may be over, but self-patterning yarn is not over for me.

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